7months after ayahuasca, my me is better and stronger

i went into my experience with ayahuasca with big expectations. Many of my friends raved about how positively it effected their lives. So i went for it just about 7months ago. It was very expensive, required 12hours of travel each way, intense preparation...and it was still SO WORTH IT.

i prepared, as recommended, for 10 days during which i ate no red meat, no spices, very little oil, no refined sugar, very little salt, had no alcohol, caffeine or any other medicines or drugs of any kind (giving up my allergy medicine was rough. Giving up caffeine sucked bad, but i later found the shamans actually don't think this is necessary, i had misinterpreted the directions) and refrained from sex of any kind.


There were three Peruvian shamans of the Shipibo tribe that had been brought to Europe by an Austrian/American woman. i wrote extensively about the experience here in this blog.

i had three stated reasons (given in more detail here) for going through all this and partaking in the ceremonies:

1. To increase my understanding and connection with the divine.

2. To develop a healthier, more balanced view towards recreational drugs.

3. To understand my place and purpose in the world.

Now, more than a half a year later, i am willing to say that i feel successful improvement in all three areas. Some of the improvement was immediate and obvious, especially about the divine.

i came away from the ceremonies so happy! i had learned things that took away my worries and fears. It's difficult to explain how i learned them. i am willing to chalk them up to intuition - but what i learned certainly feels like knowledge to me: There is a God. We do have souls. Our souls live longer than our bodies. We are all, very literally, connected. We humans have greater powers than we generally grasp. Every one of us is the same, and every one of us is going through exactly what we should be going through, in each moment. Etc. These lessons really changed my outlook on life.

And it helped me understand my place and purpose as well, partially by increasing my motivation continue studying my favorite spiritual teachers (among them, the Dalai Lama, Mike Dooley, Neale Donald Walsch, SN Goenka, Thich Nhat Hanh). With their help, i am coming to understand that i fulfill my purpose on the planet with every beat of my heart.

Do you know how liberating and relieving that is?? Even i can't fahk that up! So here i sit, in this moment typing, in another walking, in another working, but always fulfilling my purpose, just by living my life.

What this means to me is that everything else i do is icing on the cake!! Then in my good moments i start getting excited about the possibility of making really good icing, and frosting to add over it, or candles to light, to stick with the metaphor. Basically, the relaxed spiritual outlook that i developed partially as a result of my work with ayahuasca has given me more ambition to live well.

And i mean well in every sense - to maintain the health and strength and attractiveness of my body, to keep my mind clear, strong, and full, to open my heart a) to increase my own happiness and b) to benefit others.

And this ambition is heavily influential on goal #2. In the past i was the guy that, after having a great time partying or drinking socially with friends, would not only suggest but also drive the campaign to have one last shot before going home. Such a bad idea, i realize now. i would have an alcoholic drink during the day because everyone else was, or because i thought i was supposed to. i know now those things never matter. i would also use mood alterers to drive away stress, or difficulty of any kind. But with this other improvements of goals #1 and #3, i feel less stressed and know that even if i did feel it, the solution is in me, not in a bottle or a spliff. i no longer feel the need to drink too much to know i had fun. Granted, sometimes i still do. But less often, and it feels different when i do. It feels like reckless fun instead of lame distraction or desperation.

i am very thankful for the weird bunch of coincidences that lead me to finding the help of these wonderful South American Shipibo shamans and their wise plant.

These lessons and improvements have stuck with me this half year, and i have every reason to believe that they will in the future as well.

i am aware that some of the shamans i worked with on tour here in Europe again now through Traditional Plant Medicine, and if i have the money and ability to travel away from work, i'd love to go again - because it is fun. And because the preparation period is so healthy, as is the cleansing that you experience during the ceremony. So yea, if i get the opportunity to take ayahuasca with trusted shamans again, i'd be all over it. But i don't feel the need for it.

Come to think of it, i don't feel the need for any sort of substance anymore, or for anything or anyone else for that matter. And it feels really good:-)

This video is of Maestra Celestina, singing the icaro she used when i was working with her. i love it, it brings back the memories and even some of the feelings of the ceremony. i don't expect you'll understand the power of it without having been through the ceremonies, but i think it's a pretty damn cool song worth hearing anyway:-)

Photos by the author.